Resources

Here are some tools and exercises I recommend to clients for building better relationships, managing anxiety, practicing mindfulness, and developing self-compassion.

Videos

The importance of boundaries, self esteem and intimacy

How to repair from rupture

The nervous system’s response to stress

A guided meditation for self compassion

Cultivating mindful presence

Being mindful just means being fully present in the moment, and can be a great way to regulate your emotions, focus on the here-and-now and generally get more from life.

It’s not just about sitting and breathing – though you can do that if you want! There are lots of ways to be mindful whilst you go about your daily business – walking, washing up, brushing teeth etc. Here are a couple of sites to get you started.

Guided meditations

Sitting together website has a range of great meditations.

University of Bangor offers lots of meditations, body scans and movement based practices.

Grounding excercises

Leg toning – great for in a meeting

This is my favourite. Sitting upright in a chair, place both feet flat on the floor. Press weight onto your feet as if you are trying to lift the front chair legs off the ground (but stop just before they do). Hold for a few moments, then slowly release.

54321 game – great for when you are numbing out

1. Describe 5 things you see in the room.
2. Name 4 things you can feel (“my feet on the floor” or “the air in my nose”)
3. Name 3 things you hear right now (“traffic outside”)
4. Name 2 things you can smell right now (or 2 smells you like)
5. Name 1 good things about yourself
Repeat the 5 steps more than once if needed.

Make a playlist

Music has an amazing ability to change our mood. Make yourself a playlist designed to calm you when you are up-regulated. It’s a work in progress – keep on editing the tracklist until it’s just right, and keep it on your phone.

You can also develop a playlist to bring you up from a numb or disconnected place – maybe something you might even dance to!